i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize