Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize