totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
These tits shall not be calmed
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