Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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