At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
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Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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