her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize