She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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