I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize