Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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