I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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