I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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