i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My pussy is not your playground.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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