This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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