you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize