Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
