his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
