I cut my penus on the lid.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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