i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize