Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize