Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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