from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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