They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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