I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't notice because vodka
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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