1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize