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I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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