i permit you to call me
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize