My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize