he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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