Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i came on her dog
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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