Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize