I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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