Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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