i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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