i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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