I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize