We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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