his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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