just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
me + whiskey = a bad person
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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