I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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