I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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