I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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