I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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