Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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