Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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