despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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