she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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