Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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