I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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