i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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