I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize