nut hugger
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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