Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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