Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize